This is an answer I wrote on Quora that was picked up by Huffington Post. You can check out the post here.
Charisma is mostly about confidence. So really, this is a question about how to be more confident. There are several easy ways to increase your confidence, or to appear more confident.
1. Dress well
How you dress not only affects how people perceive you, it also changes how you feel about yourself. When you are wearing something that you know you look good in, you automatically gain a boost in self-confidence that will change how you speak and how you carry yourself.
Bonus: Wear something that’s unique but looks good so it becomes an easy point of conversation.
2. Make eye contact
Confidence is most often seen through the eyes. A confident person will make direct eye contact with you, and hold it during conversation. However, you don’t need to stare into their eyes the entire time, that may come across as creepy. Look into their eyes when you start speaking, and occasionally break eye contact to gesture or to think, then reestablish eye contact again after.
3. Smile and laugh more
When people are speaking to you, they are constantly gauging how interested you are in the conversation by looking at your facial expressions and gestures. An interesting person is someone who is interested in you, so be interested in the other person and what they have to say. An easy way to do that is to smile and to laugh at appropriate times during the conversation. You don’t need to smile and laugh the entire time, just when something is amusing or is funny.
4. Ask a good question
Most people hate small talk but don’t know how to get out of it or how to change the subject. The key to a great conversation is asking great questions. A great question is one that you don’t have a prepared answer for and have to actually think about your answer. Some good examples are: If you can only have one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Would you go on an one-way trip to Mars? What's one of your favorite songs that you're embarrassed to admit?
You can set up the question by saying, "I just heard this great question from a friend of mine and I’m curious what your answer would be".
These four things are super easy to implement, but take practice to master. At first you will feel uncomfortable doing them because they’re new behaviors. So focus on one of these skills at a time until it becomes more comfortable and natural. Good luck!
The benefits of being a San Francisco Urban Adventure Club member may seem pretty straight forward. You get:
However, there are many intangible benefits of being a SFUAC member that you may not have considered. Read on to find out more!
Urban Adventure Club makes it super easy for you to meet new people and explore the city, saving you precious time and energy.
It can take hours to find fun activities, do the research, and come up with a plan. Then you still have to make the reservation, create an invite, and herd your friends to join you. That can take hours of precious time when you could be having fun.
As an Urban Adventure Club member, everything is already planned for you. We think through all the annoying details so you don’t have to. You just have to show up to have fun.
Meeting new people is hard! You always feel like the new person in the group, not knowing who to talk to, and thinking everyone else already knows each other. When you do join a conversation, you often get stuck in pointless small talk. There is a better way to meet people.
Urban Adventure Club events bring together people with similar interests and hobbies. Your host welcomes you and introduces you to all the other members. There’s no need for awkward introductions. You can focus on making real connections with like-minded people.
Have you ever tried making a reservation for a campsite in Yosemite? Or a dinner reservation at State Bird Provisions? It’s almost impossible in San Francisco. Either you have to book months ahead, or wait in line for hours. Why can’t this be easier?!
As an Urban Adventure Club member, you get to enjoy the hard to get experiences because we take care of the bookings for you. We book the Yosemite campsites, the luxury Tahoe cabins, and the popular restaurants for you to enjoy.
$15 per month may seem like a lot of money, but that’s just the price of one cocktail or an Uber ride in San Francisco. When you combine all the ways Urban Adventure Club saves you money, the membership more than pays for itself.
Traveling is expensive. The transportation, accommodations, food, drinks, and activities can add up to hundreds of dollars a day. Urban Adventure Club makes traveling to amazing destinations affordable and fun. We save you money by finding the best deals on luxury rentals, carpooling, cooking and sharing meals together, buying food and drinks in bulk, and sharing the cost of group activities.
We have frequent trips to Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, and Napa valley. We’ve also gone out of state to New Orleans, New York City, and Portland. We give you all the best parts of traveling, for hundreds of dollars less than what you would normally pay.
We can take advantage of group rates and discounts. For example, a Golden State Warriors ticket can be well over $100 per game, but with a group discount you can save $15 or more on a ticket. That’s already one month of membership dues.
The group discount also applies to concerts, live performances, movie tickets, and amusement parks. If you go to any of those events in a month, then your membership is basically free. Plus, it’s more fun to do things as a group!
Have you thought about all the gear that is needed for an event? For a camping trip you need tents, tables, coolers, speakers, blankets, grills, and a car to lug it all. All of that adds up plus you need space to store it. Urban Adventure Club provides all of that so you can save your money for the fun stuff.
We also provide all the equipment and supplies for picnics, BBQs, beach bonfire parties, board game nights, and sports days. That’s hundreds of dollars of equipment and gear you can use for free. Also, as a member, you can borrow the equipment for your own events!
Aside from the convenience and the savings, the biggest value of Urban Adventure Club is the community. We are a diverse, fun-loving, and welcoming group of people who love to go on adventures together to explore the world around us.
The biggest benefit of Urban Adventure Club is being able to build relationships with people over time. Friendships are not created in a day, and you need time to build trust with new people. Most of our members are regulars who you will get to know and become friends with. Some of our top members have been with the club for 3+ years!
There have been countless friendships formed within the club. People have found roommates, best friends, and even significant others in Urban Adventure Club.
There are special occasions and holidays that are great to celebrate as a community. There is St. Patrick’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, July 4th, Halloween, SantaCon, and New Years Eve. We always have something big happening on those days and it’s always an awesome time!
For NYE last year, we threw a Midnight in Paris party. It was a private party just for Urban Adventure Club with 5 hours of open bar. It was great to come together with all your friends at Urban Adventure Club and celebrate the beginning of another amazing year.
Urban Adventure Club is not just about having fun. When the need arises, we also come together to help others. After the most recent hurricane in Puerto Rico, we held a fundraiser to aid the recovery efforts. Over 50 people came out and together we raised $1,100!
In addition to fundraisers, we also organize volunteer events where we give back to the community. One of my favorite events is serving food to the needy. Helping those less fortunate is a great reminder to not take what we have for granted.
In addition to the vibrant in person community we have, Urban Adventure Club also has a very active online community. The facebook group is a great resource where you can find and connect with members you’ve met, see photos of recent events, and stay updated on upcoming events.
You can also use the facebook group is to suggest new events. It’s a great way to share a passion or hobby you have with the larger community. You can always find someone to join you on your adventure.
Out of those 10 benefits, which one do you enjoy the most. Perhaps it’s a benefit that’s not even on the list. Please let us know in the comments below. We would love to hear from you.
The ability to leave comments on a Meetup event is very useful. It allows event hosts to provide instructions on how to find the group, and it lets people post updates and share information about the event.
When we first launched Urbanadventureclub.com we did not have the ability to leave comments on event pages. But now we do!
Now at the bottom of every event page is a comments box. Anyone can post a comment as long as they are logged into facebook. I know that's not the best solution, but it's the best one available to us.
From now on event hosts and attendees can post updates and share information just like on a Meetup event.
Note: You will not get a notification when there is a new comment or a reply to your comment. If you're attending an event and need to find the group, you can also try texting or emailing the event host.
As you are probably aware, Urban Adventure Club is a membership based club, but we do offer a free membership option. The free membership allows you to attend Urban Adventure Club's public events. Public events on the calendar are denoted with [Public] in the title.
Examples of public events are:
From month to month other public events will be posted and announced. Please check the calendar or your email for the latest public events.
Why we offer the free membership:
Whatever your situation may be, we hope you will continue to enjoy our public events. We believe that by offering free events, we can build a better community where no one is excluded.
If you have feedback or suggestions for the public events, please don't hesitate to contact us.
Founder, Urban Adventure Club
San Francisco Urban Adventure Club website is now live!
Over the month of April we will slowly transition from Meetup.com to the new website. What does this mean for you and our upcoming events? Please read on to find out.
I founded SFUAC on Meetup.com over three years ago. I did it as an experiment to see if I could build an awesome community of like-minded adventurers who wanted to get more out of living in San Francisco. The experiment proved to be very successful and SFUAC grew to be the best Meetup group in San Francisco.
However, the goal of SFUAC was not just to be the best Meetup group. The long-term goal is to be the best social club with the most amazing community in San Francisco. In order to do that, we need to be independent from Meetup.com.
This doesn’t mean the Meetup.com site is going away. It will remain on Meetup.com as another way for other adventurers to find out about Urban Adventure Club.
Meetup.com was not built for groups like SFUAC. Therefore it doesn’t have the functionality or flexibility that a club like ours needs. Here’s how the new website will improve your membership experience.
Go ahead and sign up for an account on Urbanadventureclub.com and choose the level of membership you desire.
If you are a paid member already, I will refund your last payment on Meetup.com and your membership will continue on Urbanadventureclub.com. If you paid for multiple months or an annual membership, that will be reflected in your Urbanadventureclub.com profile.
Register for events on the calendar in the same way you did on Meetup.com. Any registration fees you paid will be reflected in the event.
For the month of April all the events on both calendars will be exactly the same. However, you should only RSVP to the event on the Urbanadventureclub.com calendar. That will be the master RSVP list for the event.
Once your Urbanadventureclub.com membership is active, go ahead and cancel your membership payments on Meetup.com to avoid being charged twice.
I’m more than happy to begin this next chapter in the journey of SFUAC. I hope you will enjoy this change and the many benefits that it bring. Adventure on!
Contact us:Phone: (347) 549-9648Email: SFUrbanAdventureClub@gmail.com